Love
By G. Neil Armstrong
Sometimes I wonder what I missed while I was sulking in my own self-pity. I try to portray an image of myself as someone that others can turn to for help. The truth is, that's where I hide. It's so easy to live as though I am someone else, because it's so difficult to be who I think I really am. I am damaged, and possibly forever. God don't want the person that I pretend to be. He wants the damaged me. Not so that He can fix it up and make something special, as is the popular belief among Christians. God, as I understand Him, wants me to be exactly as I am, damaged and all.
I have no advice for anyone that will be any better than advice from anyone else. The truth is, everything we do in effort to improve ourselves is honored by God, the One who made us. Mistakes are nothing more than outcomes that we did not expect. This unexpected result is what God wants for us, to become unique, to be who we are. Not one person is the same, and nothing is easier or harder just because someone else went through it too. There is a comfort in knowing that we are not alone in our struggles in life. The comfort helps us access the courage that we all have in us. The knowing is the comfort. The unknown is frightening, and can be a fetter to any freedom we could have.
I know now that it's okay to fear. In fact, courage is being afraid, and still going forward in spite of it. I don't know if I know how to love, and that is frightening, but I still try. I know now that I may not ever get it right. Love is all that God wants from us, for Him and for each other. Even if we get it all wrong, God honors our effort. There isn't a secret of how to love. Each of us have it. Each of us have different ways of showing it. All of us have a long history of pain and loss, good times and laughter. We all have the love in us to share, and none of us know exactly how to do it. I don't think that there is a right or wrong way to love.
I want to share who I am, the me that I so readily hide from the world. The odds are in my favor that someone, somewhere will see the beauty that only love can show. To hide that love is a certain way to never discover the real me. To live my life loving everything seems like a dream, something that could never be achieved. That just isn't so. To love is far easier than to hate, or any other emotion. Emotions are the power that drives us. Today, I will try to let the love come out. Today I will show who I really am.
There is no shame in being who we are. With all the distractions in our lives, it seems easy to get lost in a world of make believe. We begin to love things other than ourselves because it's not a personal injury if we are rejected. The pain is real when we are not accepted by those who we have grown to love. This pain can kill. That's all the pain can do. Love will heal. Love will help us see clearly. Love sets us free. Even after all these words, I cannot claim to know any more about love than before. What I have learned is that when we love, we don't make mistakes. We only set a different course for our lives. That's not so bad. Different than we expected is not defined as failure, it is the art of love. It simply can't be done wrong.
Tuesday, March 02, 2010 9:53pm
