July - 2010
Thursday, July 01, 2010
10:00 am Sometimes the shift Deputy is lenient and some are strict. I loathe the strict ones, but if I behave properly, I find that the strict ones are better over all. The ones that allow too much to "slide" also have behavioral problems with the inmates, while the strict ones have few problems and little trouble with inmates.
The noise is at a minimal now, and if it increases, I have no doubt the Deputy will say something and it will get quiet again, and fast. I witness this often, yet I do not understand. One man does not vary much from another, as far as ability or capability, yet the verbally aggressive man will rarely need to become physically aggressive.
I have seen the meek defeat the aggressive very quickly in a physical altercation. It's as if the verbal aggression is the primary strength of the instigator. Somehow, many still believe him and yield to him. On the contrary, the meek authority figure is most often ignored and not taken seriously. Paradox.
Friday, July 02, 2010
9:00 pm Nothing unusual had prompted me to write much. I passed up another chance to go to Bible Study yesterday. Of a number of excuses I can use to explain it, no real reason comes to mind as to why I didn't go. Just over 3 days before my release date. I really look forward to a couple weeks at Richard's house.
Richard has a huge pool and his apartment is clean and comfortable. He is a good person that don't "candy - coat" anything. In that way, we are alike. I'll give him the $50.00 I owe him and $50.00 each week I am there. I'll either go home to Ohio by then, or settle into a more permanent residence here.
Saturday, July 03, 2010
8:30 pm Tonight's storm raged as fearsome as any of the others, yet we were not evacuated to the main jail this time. The Deputy told us that we won't evacuate unless there is a tornado warning. There was not.
Storms excite me. I will really enjoy the storm season this year. The rain is warm and I can stand in it or ride a bike, so long as it's not too windy and there is no lightning.
I am looking at tomorrow and Monday, and then I will be released. I will call Richard on Monday so that I can ask him for a ride home that night. Hopefully mom already mentioned that to him.
My foot is a lot better now. I'm ready for work. My plan is to apply at A1 Temps on East Lake Rd. in Largo. Maybe I can go back to Prototype Plastics, were I worked before.
Sunday, July 04, 2010
8:00 pm I haven't written very much lately, leastwise not like I have in the past. Not much has provoked or inspired me to write. This is the second day in a row that we weren't given any meat for dinner. For those who have no commissary, hard times are upon them. I am blessed and grateful to have George give me money every week. It's time to send him another letter.
Tomorrow is my last day. I will focus on staying calm so as not to become anxious. At long last I am going to arrive where I had set out to go. God bless Richard Sage. In the whole country, this man has proven himself a friend the most.
My goal is to begin right away looking for and acquiring a job. A job search is one thing, but I need to GET a job, not just look for one. I will succeed, no matter what. My first paycheck needs to be enough to pay for my apartment. I need to pay on a weekly basis.
This is a lot to expect and with no margin for error, so I am open to the possibility of returning to Ohio like a whipped dog, only to save up and try again later. In either case, I will have come to visit a good friend. No wasted trip after all.
Monday, July 05, 2010
11:00 am It's my last day. The rain is coming down hard and it comforts me. Today is a good day.
Tuesday, July 06, 2010
4:00 am I'm out of jail and at Richard's house. I am so happy that they didn't send me back to Ohio. I need to walk a very straight line, mostly because any trouble at all could cause me to be sent back. This is very nice. I mean, I am happy that I don't have to go back right now, especially to jail. Thank You, God.
Wednesday, July 07, 2010
8:03 am Yesterday I pooped blood twice. Maybe it was all that coffee I drank the night before at Waffle House. I was up all night, and into the morning, yesterday. Last night I went to the bar; DC Downtown. I only drank one pitcher of beer at $4.00 each, but that was after drinking 5 - 16 oz cans of beer at the house. I bought cigarettes, too, and a tee-shirt. I also bought Denny's for Richard and me. All together, I spent all my money, except for $33.00. Things will be real tight from now on.
I started a small list of things I will need, but not necessarily in order of priority. I learned that such things need to be balanced by way of opportunity, availability and urgency. If I focus on some of the more important things, most things will fall into place. I need a job first.
Wednesday, July 07, 2010
10:00 am Before I took a nap I was getting a little bit depressed because I thought that it will be very hard to find work with my foot so messed up right now. I woke up thinking that A1 Temps might hire me for clerical work because of my extensive typing and computer skills. With that thought cheering me up, I came outside to have a cigarette. The sky is clear and it is very nice outside. Today is a good day.
Wednesday, July 07, 2010
6:30 pm Today I asked for God's help in getting a job. I asked Him to help me get the job at Waffle House in Tarpon Springs. I don't always know clearly His will for me, so I wish for His will in this matter. I also sought work with Tassos. I want to make a life for myself, without being a liability to others.
My thoughts shifted to West Coast Word Church, and Greg Shade. He sold his AC company, so I know I can't look for work with him now. I wonder though, if the church and/or Greg have something to do with God's will for my employment.
I do think I am supposed to be here, in Tarpon Springs. I also know that this time there will be less room for error, and very little liberal or frivolous living. It does look like the familiar pattern of God's way for me. I must devote myself to His leading completely if I am to hope for His favor and aid in my success in survival here. May God help me now.
Thursday, July 08, 2010
8:30 am A chaplain told me recently, as I asked him if we are once saved, are we always saved, or is it something that needs to be maintained? His response was that if we accept Jesus as our Savior, we are saved, and it's not something we can or can't "do" to be saved.
I was relieved by this as I talked to God. Truly, if it were something to be earned I would not even come close to the goal. this morning my mind came to the parable of the 7 brides. While they all believed in the bridegroom, only the ones who brought enough oil for their lamps would be prepared for his arrival.
Do I have enough oil? Will He overlook me in the darkness if my lamp burns dry? God, let me seek You for the will to sustain as I wait for You. I hope I never forget what I'm waiting for and why.
Thursday, July 08, 2010
6:11 pm I'm pretty sure I know when I'm supposed to write something, even when I'm not sure what to write. It's a certain type of feeling, or something. I'm not trying to write in a proper style much right now. I just want to get the pen started.
I'll be going to church within the hour. West Coast Word Church. I hope I get to see some of my old friends there tonight. Most of all, I hope I can be washed anew, in a Spiritual sense. Maybe I can find a job while I'm there, too. Maybe.
Thursday, July 08, 2010
10:30 pm Church was really good. I was happy to see some of my friends there, and they all remembered me. I felt welcomed. I didn't see Greg Shade there tonight and I was mildly disappointed about that. He is a good guy. I do hope to see him at one of the next few services.
There was a new worship leader there with Aaron's mom. He was on the piano, singing, and she was on the keyboard. He sings well. I will be looking forward to Sunday service.
Friday, July 09, 2010
11:00 am Have you ever heard the phrase, "it takes one to know one"? The scripture says, "you must be born again, of the water and the Spirit, to see the kingdom of heaven". Light came into the world (Jesus) and darkness (sinners) didn't comprehend it. It takes an initial act of faith, to DECIDE to believe, and then to accept the Jesus Doctrine as truth. The revealing of the Salvation plan, along with the vastness of this heavenly concept is a process that begins to develop the believer. For me, it was a long and hard road. I am only glimpsing it even now.
There are countless things I don't yet understand, and won't, until I am "transformed"; until I am absent from this body. I can't see exactly what is ahead of me for my life because I have a blurry concept of reality. I am enlightened a little at a time as I experience new things, or old things over and over again, but these things are only small parts of the whole.
I hope I don't miss the solution when it becomes available. I don't want to suffer as a result of ignorance, to the extent of hunger or homelessness, and I don't want to struggle oppressively if I can apply more effort to survive.
Right now I face some extreme uncertainties. Things such as clothing, shelter and food. Of these three, I only have shelter, and only temporarily. Food is an uncertainty, and clothes are almost none. God, please help me.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
7:03 pm People hurt each other all the time, and without any regard for each others feelings. Loneliness is a pain that is hard to deal with, but it loses its power in time, and in some ways. Its effects are not always known. The people in our lives can be far worse than the loneliness felt without them. After all, we can sometimes be even lonelier WITH them in our lives then without. It's important to choose wisely who we allow in our lives. It is often those people who will make us or break us.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
7:30 am I am up in time for church this morning. I slept well, but I felt like my belly was full all night. Teresa (Terry), an old friend from Waffle House treated Richard and me to Denny's last night. It was good.
I feel good this morning. I'm happy and well rested. Hopefully I'll be able to work with Tassos tomorrow. I called him yesterday and he said it would be Monday or Tuesday. God, please bless that man with work, and strengthen us to do a fine job so that we can be paid well. I acknowledge You in this day, Lord. I feel like You were with me as I slept.
Tuesday, July 13. 2010
7:00 am Today begins a new day. Tassos has a stucco job for me today. I will do well. I am reminded that each day will have challenges and obstacles unconsidered until just before, during and even after they occur. Only the substance and condition of the heart will guide me and determine the outcome of such.
I have learned that the best way to handle anything is with patience and to not rush in to anything; to try to think first, and to take care. I don't want my hand to work mischief or strife, but to always bring about the best result - if at all possible. I want the Lord to be my guide. I hope that He will make my crooked way straight, and my rough places plain. He will bring me low if I lift myself up too high, and He will bring me up high if I am too low. Equally important, He will teach me the particulars of these, so that I may learn.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
8:00 am In only two weeks time God has helped me to meet or exceed all of the requirements for me to live here in Tarpon Springs. I have regular work. I have clothing and food. Soon I will have my own residence. I have re-established well in West Coast Word Church. I am healed now. My foot is ready for normal use.
Temptation has come and gone in ways and times that have caused me to want. I have been less than perfect in my response to some of this, but even then the Lord has sustained me. I have not indulged. I do not desire the accursed thing.
I don't know what to do, or how best to go about doing it from day to day, so I practice my faith by keeping keen awareness, as best I can, when opportunities come. I don't wait and I don't pass up options because it's often the only offer or option available to me, as God provides.
Monday, July 19, 2010
1:30 am Nobody can lose something that he doesn’t have. There is no known way to lose experience. The memory may fade, to some unknown extent, but the experience remains, even through the lives of the unknown many that were affected by it. Never regret. It's all good. Just remember to love. No experience is more valuable than love.
1:30 pm I remember yesterday when I was praying, I told God that I only needed a few things and I would know His will for whether or not I am to stay in Florida. I need transportation, a stable place of residence and I need work.
This morning Tassos and I lined up 3 potential jobs. I know the Lord will bless Tassos with much work, even if for only my sake. After Tassos brought me home I found a bike and paid almost half on it. After that, Richard and I went shopping. On our way home for shopping we ran into Dee Conti, a person I rented from in the past. She and I worked together at Waffle House some years ago and had become friends.
Dee said she had a room I could rent. The room has a private entrance and a bathroom. She will charge me $75.00 a week. I don't deserve the blessings that God has given. I am grateful for His hand in all of this. I need to focus only on His kingdom and righteousness. He has everything worked out.
Monday, July 26, 2010
3:00 pm I've never experienced anything that hasn't already been experienced by somebody else. It's only differences are by interpretation from the ones experiencing them. The same ol' stories written by many different writers, to so many different readers, but even still, it's not new. Well, it is to me. Written by me, for me, having been read at different times of my life has ultimately different meanings to me. That is why I write. Even while I am writing, I gain further insight into that which I am writing about.
In only 3 weeks I have gained plenty of work, 2 bicycles and a solid place of residence. I have enough clothes and food for my needs and enough money to increase and/or improve all that I have. I read my Bible every day. I go to church at every appointed hour. I pay my tithes and I give offerings above that. All is well and getting better all the time.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
I will probably want to back log some of the things I have written on paper recently. In general, I am in Holiday, Florida. I am working for Tassos, a Greek man who is 80 years old, and I work at Image Media on the weekends sometimes. Image Media has been a blessing to me because Tassos is unable to work consistently, for obvious reasons.
Image Media has proven to be my primary source of income as of late. God has helped me in some of the most unlikely ways. So far I have been able to meet each of my obligations. I am most grateful for where I live now. I do not want to be late with rent each week and I don't want to return to Ohio on the premise of failing in my endeavors.
I am encouraged and sometimes by some of the most simple of things, it seems. I got a call from George, a friend from Ohio. He is filling out a money order for me and sending it today. As it turns out, the lack of work this week will not cause my rent to be late, after all.
I watched a movie called The Sorcerer's Apprentice just now and was encouraged by the heroics and the romantics in the movie. I understand that it is only a movie, but it did inspire me anyway. After all, we all need to be inspired when our spirits are low. I thank God for His encouragement, even when the channels seem less than desirable.
8:00 am Aside from the natural sleepy feeling from just waking up this morning, I felt elated with contentment and joy. I am quite comfortable here at Dee’s house. My joy was deflated when Tassos called and told me he was sick and can't work today. I know that if I trust God and keep trying, He will see me through with an easy yoke and a light burden. So far, I only have $56.00 toward rent, due Tuesday. That's $19.00 less than I need for rent and I need to buy food very soon. I hope everything works out alright. The Lord is my provider and He will not leave me lacking.
07/30 2010 - Friday
7:15 am It seems to me now that God does want me to live within the boundaries of a very low income. I think this and I am at peace with it. I don't feel a desperate struggle for survival; nor do I feel as though I must seek for a greater income.
I don't know how this will work in harmony with my obligations of finance, but God is in control. I will not deliberately decline any opportunity for money, as God will have me to freely receive as I freely give.
Rent is $75.00 a week. In addition to that, I will need hygienic, food, cloths, and cigarettes. A total of $150.00 each week should cover all of this, while still paying 10% for tithes. I have $50.00 each week from George. I hope to find a steady and reliable source to receive the other $100.00 each week.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
6:56 am Gideon was selected by God to deliver Israel from the Midianites after the Israelites called upon the Lord for deliverance. Gideon was least of all the people and was reluctant to heed Gods call. Nevertheless, Gideon did destroy the altar of Baal and cut down the grove, but because he was afraid, he did it at night when everybody was sleeping. Even before he braved such a task, Gideon did as the angel of the Lord instructed when he selected a young bullock to sacrifice of God.
Gideon needed to be made clean before he could carry out a task for God. The burnt offering to God put Gideon in a position to receive the anointing. Even then, Gideon was afraid and destroyed the altar of Baal at night. Even after that, Gideon wanted to be very sure of Gods validity in His instruction, so Gideon put a fleece of wool on the ground. Gideon's Fleece is still referred to today, and practiced in various ways.
