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What I Want – I Don’t Want
Your Will Be Done
Why does my old sins come to revisit me so vividly in my dreams. It feels like a faraway dream that I will be home soon, and yet I don’t feel like I’ve been gone for very long. My primary concern is that I do not go back into ANY willful sin, no matter how insignificant it may seem to be at the time. Next, it is my earnest desire that I be welcome in my zealous desire to do something for God.
I want to sing songs that the Holy Spirit puts in my heart – from the very depths of my soul. I want to write my experiences from small to great in every detail as God manifests His Promises, Rewards and Results in my life.
I want to help those people who want to help themselves, but for reasons that very from person to person, they are unable to achieve full restoration. This and these will require of me that I do experience and understand that which I offer to help others to attain.
Whatever it takes, I want to do it. I do not want to be on the reprimand role of God’s hand. That would suggest a persistent rebellion on my part. I don’t want to resist His reproof in my wrong doings, either. I especially do not want to develop and maintain a stoic heart toward Him in that I am lost yet again.
No matter how glorious, or no matter how bitter, no matter what I want or don’t want – I must surrender. I must be contented.
As for me, what I want and what I don’t want – His will be done. In that I am contented. Not in my want of timing, nor in my want of how, or what. God has prepared me for a very broad range of use, therefore I will not even need to understand the thing, nor will it be that I have purposed it. His will be done. My will be His. In all I do, to honor God.
Jesus, I am depending on You to put me on the path and through the way that You’ll do in my life; Your will. This prayer, like so many other prayers in my life is to express again that I give my all to You. I am here. You are near. The two are this: I have no fear. Your will be done. I surrender all.
I pray in Jesus’ name, amen.
By G. Neil Armstrong
